I think part of why it has been hard is because she doesn't really acknowledge what she has done toward me in any meaningful way. This activity is hard for her though because the guilt (if she acknowledges her actions to me) would overwhelm her. But whatever, I really am fine now mom. I mean, seriously...I haven't talked to the girl since thanksgiving. It's really fading into the past now.

in Christ,
jason

Dear Jason,
I never meant not caring. You will always care. I just hope the hurt you feel when she is around is what you get over. I could never stop caring about someone I loved either. Sorry if you got that idea. Mom

well ma, I feel over it in some sense of the word...it's just that these practical things come up. And if "getting over it" means "not caring about another human being regardless of how much she has negatively affected me" than I hope I never do. I'm not as emotionally affected anymore as I used to, but I hope I never go stone cold to the idea.

Really, I'm fine when I'm away from her. I feel so good, don't worry about it. But, I will never stop caring about her, or loving her. Even if it just a hint of love. Get over it? na, accept who I am because of it, maybe. But I don't want to ever stop caring about her, though calloused I may be.

okay anyway,
love you all,
good times here in IC, posted on the other blog about it.
in Christ,
jason

Hey Jason,
Life sometimes just gets sucky, doesn't it? And there are just no answers!
I feel bad for you and the impact this girl is still making on you. It affects everything it seems. I need to wup you upside the head and say
"get over it" but you are the one that needs to get past this. No one else can do it for you.
Hope you are having a good time with Jeff. It sounds as though you have been able to get together with him a few times during his visit to Iowa this time. It does my heart good to know you guys are "hangin' out". It is important, ya know. Well, gotta go pay bills. Later! Oh, did you get your guitar yet? Love, momma